Round Table Sept. 8th, 2021 7:30 pm (PST) Hee’s the Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84173276880
“I guarantee there will be tough times.
I guarantee at some point one or both of us are going to want to get out of this thing.
But I also guarantee if I don’t ask you to be mine,
I’ll regret it for the rest of my life
because I know, in my heart you’re the only one for me.” ~Runaway Bride Movie 1999
Falling in love verses staying in love has its blessings and work. Falling in love
has all the warm fuzzies, fireworks and anticipation of romantic interludes for the rest of our lives. Many of us were raised on Disney movies that make ‘happily ever after’ look so easy. Never will we be involved in a relationship that will require more of our best selves than with a life partner. And in a country where statistics scream that 50% of marriages will fail, we better have a strategy to help eliminate the heartache of tearing apart a till death do us part commitment. There is a saying, “The only thing perfect about marriage is the airbrushed wedding photo.” ~Anonymous. If that is the truth than how can we prevent failure and prepare for success?
The first step is knowing who we are and what we value. Family, faith, career,
friends, common likes, values, future goals all come in to play when considering a life linked together. Ask yourself what matters to you in each category. What does it look like for you this year, next year and subsequent years down the road? Make a ‘Who I am’ list:
Who I am:
Hobbies: ____________________________________________________ Activities: ___________________________________________________
Decide what you like and do not like in each category and what would be a deal
For example: If you are a health nut, and are active as a rule, will you be okay with someone who lives on fast food and prefers gaming all weekend on the couch? Be as descriptive as you can be for each topic. Then make a list of what you are looking for in a partner. This will be a ‘I want’:
I want in a partner:
Start with your I am list and then add other items on your list to be watching for:
Family oriented: ________________________________________________
Good with kids:_________________________________________________
Easy personality: _________________________________________________
Make your list long and detailed. Then write beside each item how you will
determine that they meet or come up short for each item that you value.
Once you have written down what you are looking for in a partner, start
prayerfully looking. Do not share the list with anyone else but be observant with each potential. If you are dating, this is a quick way to determine if the date is a potential mate or just for fun. Dating can be a great process of discovering prospective spouses, but it can also be valuable to defining reasons to move on. Marriage is a long-term process. Moving slow is the optimum speed. You will want to see your potential mate in good times and tough situations. Go through the holidays to see if their values line up with yours. You will want to know when the tough stuff of life is thrown at them, how they react or respond.
Bringing Christ into your choices is the most valuable culling practice you can bring to the process. Since God created us, He knows best who can weather the sunshine and storms of a life spent together. Ask Him. Then be willing to hear the answer.
Pick Up Your Sword:
- “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
How can you choose a partner that demonstrates these attributes?
- “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
~ Proverbs 18:22
What makes a good wife?
- “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? “
~ 2 Corinthians 6:14
What does this verse caution against for partnerships?
- “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” ~ 1 Peter 4:8 Your thoughts?
- “Let all that you do be done in love.” ~ 1 Corinthians 16:14 Do you see this in yourself? In your future mate?
- “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ~ Romans 8:28 Is your relationship called according to His purpose?