One of the hardest things about the teen years is coming to grips with the reality is that if we’re doing our guiding correctly, we will soon be out of a job in their lives; not as early as they want us to be, but soon. It’s painfully vital we measure the time left to influence them, keeping in our hearts that we must push them out of the nest for their success.
I once watched a mother eagle shove her eaglets one at a time from the perch on their nest to set their wings to flight. The last one to leave was smaller than the others, and when he took to the air, it was a wobbly disaster of a flight. I covered my eyes when it looked like he would meet his demise on the forest floor. But a moment before his ultimate crash, his mother swooped down under him, and he landed on her back!
I exhaled in amazement at her perfect ‘catch’. I watched as his mom flew high into the sky above the height of the spar tree that held their nest… and she rolled over. The eaglet tumbled through the air and once again attempted to fly while Mom watched. Had I not seen this myself, I wouldn’t have believed it. This routine repeated itself a third time, only this time, the teen’s wings caught the air, and he began maneuvering with much more polish. He landed on the soft forest floor with his other siblings, unaware of his near-death experience. Mom screamed for them, and they all took to the air flying over the lake maneuvering like rookie pilots. And I realized, I’d been the one in school—at the desk of the Creator, he had played out for me my role for our children. I’d been their protector, instructor, some days the sheriff and other days the jailer—but soon I would be the bystander as they would take what we’d taught them and apply it to their lives.
For our children’s sake, we must allow them to try their wings for them to realize they can fly. We need to hold their hands when they’re young but soon we move to a position of showing them how and getting out of their way. We can still be there when they fall, but not in the same way. It is equally essential for their successful launch into the world that our parenting change to cheerleading. Cheerleading is a painful parenting place where we must allow them their choices, failures, and recoveries, all while we watch. If we rescue them each time they bump into life head-on, they cannot grow into successful adults. These are the times we wear out our knees, praying for their wisdom and safety. When our children started driving, I wore a path in the carpet, pacing and praying for their safety until they pulled into the driveway. This was one of the times I was grateful for cell phones and could contact them if they were late.
“A friend of mine tells this story about praying for her prodigal daughter; “You know, I went through a time in my life where my daughter was running away from home, and I wouldn’t know where she was for long periods of time. God showed me how, when she was little, I would tuck her in bed each night, covering her up with her blankets and kissing her goodnight. We would say a prayer, and I would leave the room feeling secure that she was safe and sound. But, when she was going through these rough years, I longed to tuck her in safely at night. You see, the night was really hard for me as I would grieve in my heart the pain my daughter had to endure in her soul and the lost state she was walking in. So in His powerful and comforting way, the Lord showed me I could still tuck her in each night as I covered her up with prayers. Only this time, He would be the one that would make sure she was cared for, and I would have to lean on Him and trust Him in this. Covering her each night before I went to sleep with prayer brought comfort to my soul, and God only knows what it saved her from.”
During my teen years, the overwhelming feeling I experienced as a mom was a sense of helplessness! I turned to the scriptures to soothe my angst. I was relieved to find that Mary and Joseph worried and scolded Jesus when he wasn’t where they thought he should be. I admired the mom who boldly asked Christ to heal her daughter and the warrior who was wise enough to seek God’s healing when nothing else worked for his daughter. Scripture demonstrates sibling rivalry and rebellious children.
To help ease me through these tumultuous years, I learned to pray like a battle buddy at war. Below are a few tips that I’ve used while praying for my children.
Tips for praying for your teens:
- I memorized scriptures regarding characteristics that needed to mature or that were desirous for them. I prayed these verses back at Christ, asking him to fulfill his own words.
- I re-wrote the book of Proverbs, inserting my teen(s) names. For example, 2I Lord, I pray you will teach Jennifer and Brad to know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; I Pray that Brad and Jennifer will receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;. . .
- I prayerfully anointed their rooms, headboards, computers, and cars.
There are so many ‘works’ we think we can do but praying and then ‘doing’ something prayerful helped me leave the control in Christ’s hands. Like the mother eagle, we must depend on Christ to show us when to push, inspire, let them fail, AND WHEN TO PRAY! Maybe it’s because God is a Father or because He wants us to come to Him; whichever it is, miracles happen when parents pray.
