- Set boundaries! If you do not know where your boundaries lie, how can others? If you feel taken advantage of, maybe you are to blame and not them. If you do not make clear what is acceptable and not acceptable, then others are on unknown territory. The secret is to know what you want, develop a personal ‘rule,’ and without being rude, let others know as each situation comes up. For example, I have told people (friends, clients, and family) I start my day at 9 am and unless it is bleeding or on fire, I am not available before. The word you need to learn is “Thank you, but No.”
- Know your energy levels: If you are not a morning person, do not obligate yourself to morning commitments. And if you are a done by 8pm person, do not take on evening activities. Learn to under promise and over deliver. If you fight with your energy around PMS time or Menopausal days, schedule your down time. Commit to no big decisions or large events during this down time. Respect your body cycle and natural rhythm and support optimum energy levels with good nutrition.
- Learn to Delegate. We all want to be the hero in our stories, the superwoman—Get over yourself! There are limits to our abilities, hours in the day, energy output and brain power. As women we often think people will admire us for being able to ‘do it all.’ I personally have more respect for a woman who knows her limitations; it makes her more dependable and less likely to burn out and leave me hanging.
- Learn to admit when you are wrong. No one is perfect no matter how hard we try or want it to be true. We are human. We mess up! The worst enemy to not admitting we are wrong when we are, is waiting too long to acknowledge it. Feelings get hurt; misunderstandings can become walls too difficult to maneuver. Get it over quickly and sincerely. The words you are looking for are “I’m sorry.”
- Guard Your Sleep! When we are overstressed, over-committed, under-prepared and out of sync, we may tend to rob from our sleep sinking into the world’s adage – Working longer, harder, and faster will get me there. In fact, the opposite is true. If we are rested, and are managing our commitments and boundaries, we are better prepared for an emergency or out of the normal situation. Do whatever is necessary to protect your 7-8 hours of restful sleep.
- Take Mini-Breaks. Thinking you can undo stress built up over the past year with a two-week vacation is plain bonkers and unrealistic. Instead build daily mini breaks, a weekly break, and a monthly break. I work from home but commit to taking an hour lunch break every day away from my phone and my computer. Sometimes I fall asleep during that hour and sometimes I walk, garden, or watch TV; but I take the break no matter the pile on my desk or the demands of the day. And I am better for it. Find your ‘break time’ habit and use it.
- Take Time to Play. I have said this one hundred times. We are no good to those around us if we are no good to ourselves. Taking time to play restores and reboots our mindset, our energy, our attitudes, and clarifies goals. Play a sport, have coffee with a friend, go for a walk, or join a fitness class. Do you know the saying “Take Time to Come Apart or You will Come a Part?” It is true. Take the time and you will see your ‘have to’ time commitments greatly improve.
- Get to Know the Master of Your Soul. We are uniquely knit together for a specific purpose. Our passions, personalities and giftings were created within us to serve others. By serving others we inspire and serve ourselves. Our troubles come when we do not recognize who we are or who our Creator is. Take time daily to get to know our divine architect and designer and better understand yourself. Even better, get to know the instruction manual He sent for us!
- Leave the Past in the Past. We all have baggage. Do whatever you must do to unwind it, resolve it, detangle it and remove its negative power. The words to Elsa’s “Let It Go” chorus is a great encouragement!
- Set Goals-Press on Toward the Prize of the High Calling of Christ. Schedule success. Set your intentions for your physical, mental, spiritual, family, mission, and future goals. Write them down. Weekly goals, monthly goals, 90-day goals, 1, 5 and 10-year goals help us to see if we are on target or where we strayed from the path and points to the route back. You may discover after writing your goals down, that you are asking too much, too fast of yourself. You might also see you are not asking enough of yourself. Or you may discover, some of your activities are puffs in the wind and do not move you forward at all. The good news is you are in charge of pausing, changing, surging forward, and building the strategies of your life.
These ten tips for acquiring peace of mind can go a long way to growing the parts that embrace the “Peace that passes all understanding.” Start with one and build on the others as you are able. Then look in the mirror each day and say, “I like me.” If you cannot say “I like me” then make some changes. If you are overly critical, acknowledge your negativity and be gentle with you. Positive self-talk is vital to getting to know the unique individual God created you to be. Do not put down His handiwork, instead embrace it, polish it, and then return to the mirror.
