Round Table 7-21-21
“The way to develop self-confidence is to
do the thing you fear and get a
record of successful experiences behind you.”
William Jennings Bryan
Many of us desire confidence, but we lack the courage to stretch our comfort zones. Since our level of confidence dictates how we feel about ourselves, we can control our abilities to succeed. Our levels of confidence also set our levels of happiness, but often we stop short of all we can be.
There are many ways to build our self-confidence if we have the courage to explore and embrace living on the edge of other possibilities. We get comfortable with daily routines, things we know and understand, and create “rules” to live by that keep us safe. It takes courage to think outside the box, or to step outside of our comfort zones. By trying one or all of these things, we can build little successes, which in turn build our self-assurance. Going through difficult times creates experiences that build buoyancy for us for the future.
Here are a few things we can be successful at today:
Accept reality: Too often we get caught up in hoping and wishing our lives were different. We desire that people treat us better, but then refuse to hold them accountable when they don’t. We allow them to treat us poorly. We wish our finances were better and yet continue to live beyond our means. Or we do not assign every dollar a job and then cannot figure out where the money went. Some of us live in a world where we are waiting for things to improve just because we want them to. Getting real about situations we desire to be different means we need to accept where they are, make a new plan, and then execute it to the best of our ability. Excuse-making and blame-shifting belong as far away from us, and we can make it. It is time to put our big girl panties on and get at making dreams into goals.
Make a plan: Often we are aimless. We say we want to be happy, but we do not know what happy looks like—therefore when it arrives, we may never notice. Put nouns to our wants. By now you have heard of SMART goals. Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic and Timely. Know what you want, write it down, find out if it is attainable or realistic and then set a specific time to meet the goal. Then when your ship comes in, you will actually be on the dock waving it in.
Create a bucket list: Life cannot be all work. We need to dream dreams. Make a list—a bucket list. Then start to move toward completing these items. You will enjoy it three times over. The first time you will enjoy planning it, the second time will be experiencing it, and the third time will be reliving it over and over.
Practice little happies: Do more of what makes you happy, and less of what doesn’t. Cut drama out of your life. People who drain you should be moved to the outer edges of your world, and those who energize you should be moved closer to the inner circle of you. Besides the big dreams, make a list of little things you enjoy: fresh coffee in the morning, lavender-scented sheets, soft slippers, lunch with a friend, matching scrunches for your hair, cuddling with a pet, or planting your favorite flower. Find the little happies of life daily and notice them.
Make your bed: Starting your day feeling like you have already accomplished something is a step in the right direction. If the day goes wrong, you still have a neatly made bed to climb into at the end of the day.
Set boundaries: As women, our lives often involve multi-tasking at Mach II with our hair on fire. I laugh when my husband and I say we’re going to bed. He gets up and goes to bed. I get up, make sure the doors are locked, the dishwasher is turned on, the dogs have gone outside to do their business, the heater is off, so we do not wake up too hot in the morning, and the cat is inside so we do not have to let her in in the middle of the night. I see you laughing, you know what I’m talking about! So, I have a couple of hard fast rules I live by: NO Crap before 9 a.m. I will not begin phone calls, bill paying, laundry, dishes, or anything else before 9 in the morning. I get up, get my coffee, eat, work out, shower, read, and pray. It is tempting at times to get a head start on the day by starting early, but I’ve discovered that when I do that, I am unproductive all day long! Respecting myself enough to have a morning start time makes all the difference in the day.
Schedule play: Work hard all week, but schedule play time. I don’t mean work-out time, or nap time. I mean play. Call a girlfriend, get out of the house, and do something fun. I have for years practiced BBFF day. That is my Biblical Best Friend Friday. We meet at 1 every Friday. We have no agenda except to find some new adventure. We need women friends to downshift, complain about our life, cheer each other’s successes, and to just be girls for a few hours. But if you don’t plan for it, life will eat up your play time and you’ll drag your tail through just surviving life.
Get your hair done: There is nothing like a new cut and/or color to help us feel on top of the world. It is such a little thing that builds confidence; do it often.
Pick Up Your Sword –
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.
~ Proverbs 31:25
What does Proverbs 31:25 say true confidence is?
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Beauty to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin…or wearing a kick-ass red lipstick. ~ Gwyneth Paltrow
What is Gwyneth talking about and how can you use this information?
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For more like this and the included workbook pages check out Dare To Be A Badass Book!
